It has taken me some time to think on what exactly I wanted to write regarding this subject.

When expressing personal opinions about faith and religion, one can get confused and sometimes give the wrong impression of one's believes and traditions.

There are some moments in life, where you can feel all your senses and emotions arise towards the most extreme expressions like laughther, anger or tears.
No matter how confused you are, or how firmly you defend the integrity of your faith (in whatever you believe), or how constantly you challenge and question the authorities that supposedly rule the moral terms upon which you act; you will always find yourself in a moment or situation where you know you are facing a circumstance above your normal strength or will to keep your senses straight.

I have faced all stages in my life, from fully conservative catholic, to resilient practicant in absolute denial of my religious principles... but the figure of Pope John Paul II could make me remove all the dirt I kept inside my conscience and even with that, feel I was loved and blessed for having his pressence in my life... never met him, the closest I was to him were 5 seconds as he passed through in a 50,000 people mass and I kicked and pushed to be 1 or 2 meters away from him... and he would make me cry even when I saw him in a picture... I called him my father, he was "mi Papa"...
He passed away... and I felt alone, and empty... and so did everybody else.

A new figure comes, ready to start a new era... or continue what was left undone... it's not the same feeling... even if his image is manipulated by the press for good or bad, even if I continue being resilient or if I get struck by a rock and get back to the original flock...

He was very right when he said during one of his first words as Pope:

"We knew we were not alone. I can't handle this by myself... you know God is always leading"

Doesn't matter what or whom your God is... or who/what he has sent to represent him... despite all our differences in that matter... we are not alone... and that, I can't question.